Joy that lasts...

This weekend I was prompted to think about this concept of 'joy.' Let me be honest, in the past couple weeks, between challenges at work, at home, and battling pneumonia, my body and spirit were just wiped out. I sat at a stoplight on Friday and just let God know that I felt totally defeated. I don't usually "hear" from the Lord, but as I sat there that still voice inside me popped up almost immediately and said, "I know you FEEL that way, but you are NOT defeated." That started a weekend of some reflection and looking around my life.

The final result was one haunting question that I now share with you (please ask it honestly of yourself): Are you happy? Sounds simple, but it is not. Are you happy? And if you answer no, then what is standing in your way? Are you blaming others for your unhappiness? Are you blaming your circumstances? What became immediately visible to me as I looked around at friends and family was that if we weren't acting happy, or actually happy, it was reflected in how we saw everything and everyone. It is almost as if our subconscious says, "Hey if I'm not happy then I am going to make everyone else miserable too." How unfair.

Now as a Christian for many years I have always been around this idea of joy. It is one of the fruit of the Spirit; it is constantly referred to in Scripture as something that seems too good to be true, etc. But what does it really mean to by happy or joyful?

First, I have come to consider that Joy is a Choice. Psalm 51:12 says, "Restore to me the JOY or your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." Some of the words in there make me believe that I can choose to turn my back on it, ask for God to restore it and it requires a willing spirit on my part to hold on to it. I can choose today whether I will live in JOY or not. Every day, every moment... What do I choose?

Second, I have come to consider that only God can Strengthen my joy. The Psalmist once again writes, "Sing for JOY to God our strength..." (81:1). I may want JOY and somehow I believe that I can make my own JOY, or that others are responsible for my JOY, or that my circumstances dictate my JOY. Once I choose it, I need to rely on God's strength to provide it and sustain it.

Finally, IT TAKES WORK! When Paul is writing to the Colossian church, he says, "We pray that you'll have the strength to stick to it over the long haul...It is strength that endures the unedurable and spills over into JOY..." (1:11). I sat at the stoplight pondering my circumstances, my health, my weakness, and my failures and effectively threw my hands in the air and was ready to give up. I was ready to give up on being happy or joyful.

Are you happy? And if you are not, then what is standing in your way? If you are honest, I think you'll find that answer most days is "me." I am standing in the way of God's plan for me to be happy. Not without trial, and not without challenges, but to live in the shadow of His Joy. It is a Joy that lasts!

Don't worry, be happy! :)

Doc

Is free speech really free?

This has been one of those years where I honestly wonder where the time has gone. Every week I would think of new things to blog about and then life would happen and the next week was upon me... I have recommitted to making this blog thing work. Hopefully it is not only useful to others but to me as well.

It has taken "big" things to get me motivated enough to write/blog about, and yesterday one of them happened. I turned up the volume as Fox News began to cover the scene outside the Supreme Court building where a distraught father of a deceased military son was in court against Westboro Baptist Church from Kansas. If you are unfamiliar with them, you have been living under a rock. They have protested us here at Focus. They have shown up a any number of times here in the Springs to protest at military funerals. They seem to show up all over the country ranting and raving about how God hates us, hates gays, hates our country and that we are all headed to hell.

Off the top may I say that I am immensely embarrassed that they call themselves Christians and that somehow lumps them in with me. They do not act or sound like the Christ I follow. I would like to remind them of the section of Mark where Jesus comes upon the woman caught in adultery who is about to be stoned. Quick aside question: Anyone else wondering where the guy is? Regardless she's about to be stoned because she did something wrong. Jesus steps in, comforts here, confronts the legalistic Pharisees and then writes something in the dirt that causes those same folks holding stones to scatter. My thought: he might have been writing the names of the women that each of them had been in adulterous relationships with... speculation I know and highly doubtful but it would make for great drama! He then turns to her and says the exact thing they wanted to; namely 'what you did was wrong - don't do it anymore'. Same conclusion but VERY different approach. I wish the Phelps family and the mindless people who follow them would pay a bit more attention to that than there picketing.

Now, all of that said this case in the Supreme Court will be decided on the basis of our First Amendment. Interestingly enough our Founders were bright enough to protect the Phelps and others like them by granting free speech rights. However free speech has never been (and was never intended to be) absolute and line that determines where it stops is where it begins to harm others. There are responsibilities that go with rights and Westboro has forgotten that. I believe the Court will decide in the church's favor - not because they are "right" but because it would mean a massive re-write of both free speech law but privacy law (the other issue at odds here).

Culture has been a wonderful arbiter of when that line is crossed. The single greatest way to get Westboro to stop doing what they are doing is to totally marginalize them. If the law helps do that then wonderful. News stations stop covering their protests even though it makes for compelling "art" for the evening news. Newspapers - stop printing anything from them. We had a ranting editorial from the Phelp's daughter in our local paper and I don't why they printed it - it is called editorial discretion. Even bloggers should stop using any bandwidth to even mention their names. I know I know, I have just violated that one but in an effort to start the momentum.

What is even more egregious in these cases is that they are protesting military funerals of those who are fighting and dying to preserve the very rights they are pushing the limits of. Free speech is theirs because of the long line of young men and women who have sacrificed to allow them to live free. I beg and plead with them to not only responsibly handle that right but to be a much more compelling vision of Christ to a culture that needs it.

Back in the saddle...
Doc

The Ledge

The story goes...

Once upon a time, there was a businessman visiting the mountains. On his last day of his business trip he decided he wanted to climb one of the mountains. Mid-morning he found a young man who was willing to guide him up the mountain for a day-climb. What he failed to realize and what the guide failed to share with him, is that starting a climb this late in the day was a problem since weather systems tended to come in over the mountain rapidly in the early afternoon. Regardless they started up the trail. As early afternoon approached the clouds moved in and temperature began to drop quickly from the relative warmth of the late morning hours. Neither climber was prepared for the weather change. Both were in hiking shorts, t-shirts, hiking boots and light jackets. They had small backpacks with water and snacks but no weather gear. They continued to climb and slowly the sky darkened and snow began to fall. The snow fell lightly at first and then more swiftly. The wind picked up. Both climbers slowed their pace and the businessman found himself staring intently at the footprints in front of him in the snow that his guide was making. He bundled up the best he could. The guide’s steps became slower and slower. They had lost the trail in the snow. They were above tree-line and the could see barely six feet in front or behind them. Finally the guide’s pace slowed to a full stop.

The businessman asked, “Why have we stopped?” “I don’t know exactly where we are on the side of the mountain,” he yelled back through the wind and snow. “What is the problem,” the businessman inquired. Then the guide announced, “There is a 200 foot crevasse that goes along the side of this trail. I fear we are too close to it and I’m afraid that if we keep going I’ll walk us off the side of it.” The businessman recognized the dilemma they found themselves in. Bad weather; unprepared climbers; lost on the trail; and in danger of falling off a cliff. The predicament was clear. But the solution was simple he thought… “we’ll just go back down the trail.” “We can’t,” replied the guide. “The snow has covered the trail and the crevasse winds along the path, so to go back might also mean walking off the side of the cliff.” The two men stood in silence as the reality of their situation fell upon them as quickly as the snow fell around them.

Suddenly out of the snow to their right came a voice. “You guys are in trouble aren’t you?” the voice obviously questioned. “I’ve been watching you for some while from above you. You are right, the crevasse is about eight or so feet to your right. If you would have kept going you would have walked off the side. I’m on the other side of it.” “But what do we do now?” the businessman yelled into the whiteness. “Well, you can’t go back, because as your guide said, you would also risk walking into the crevasse. I’ll walk down the mountain and send help up in the morning.” After a long pause he yelled back, “I think your only chance for survival is to move to the edge of the crevasse, ease yourself over the edge and drop onto a ledge that is about eight feet down the side of the cliff.” The questions began to spin in the two men’s heads. What ledge? How does he know there is a ledge? Why should I trust him? Who is he anyway? What if there is no ledge?
The men began a deluge of questions for the voice in the storm. How did he know about the ledge? He’d lived on the mountain his whole life. Had he ever been on the ledge? Yes, several times. How big was the ledge? It was big enough to hold them. What was his name again? His name was Carl. The guide recognized the name and knew his reputation as a well known mountaineer from the area. The questions went on and on and then ended with, “Why should we trust you?” The answer, “Because if you choose not to trust me, you will surely die from exposure on the side of this mountain.”

With that Carl’s voice trailed off and he headed down the mountain for help. The two men were left alone to decide what they would do. Knowing that deep in their hearts they needed to trust the voice in the snow, they slowly made their way to the edge of the crevasse. They looked intently over the side when they reached the edge. They didn’t know if they could even make out the shadow of the ledge as the light faded and the snow blew around them. The guide went first. He lowered himself over the side and hung down by his knuckles. Slowly each finger released until he dropped out of sight and landed with a thud on the ledge. Then the businessman, shaking from the cold and nerves, lowered himself slowly over the edge. He too gripped the edge of the cliff with all of his strength until the weight of his body pulled him downward. He also landed on the firm footing of the ledge. There they spent the night out of the wind and snow, huddled together until help came to rescue them in the sunrise of the next morning. And indeed they lived happily ever after.

Too often the world would love to point the finger at Christians and describe our faith as blind and ignorant. In the world’s eyes believers hear about the ledge, then run to the edge and jump off just hoping that a ledge exists. I’ve searched God’s Word quite a bit and I never read that faith is that unknowing. I believe that God wants us to test him and ask tough questions and get to know him in a way that builds an incredible trust so that when He does tell us about the ledge that we willingly follow his lead to the edge. Does it still take faith? You bet! When those fingers actually let go of the edge of the cliff we are exercising a full measure of the faith God wants from us – but we do it knowing the voice in the storm so well that we can trust His word and direction.

What kind of faith do you have?

I signed it and I think he would too...

This morning I woke up with two ideas twirling through my head. First it was Martin Luther King Jr. day and that meant the kids didn't have school. Additionally, I always spend time on this day reflecting on the impact that man had on all of our lives here in the U.S. especially. Second, I had a couple emails last night about my signing the Manhattan Declaration last month. Some of my less than conservative friends were really offended that I had added my name to a document that stood for the sanctity of life (it is clearly pro-life), sanctity of marriage (between one man and one woman) and religious liberty.

The twirling thoughts led to starting my day more convinced than ever that I would sign it tomorrow and the next day and the next. Here's why...

The Issues: When one strips away the policy, the opinion and the emotion from the issue of abortion one is left with one of two value presuppostions - if I am pro-life then the value of physical life is paramount. If I am pro-choice then individual liberty is the paramount value. Side-note - this is precisely why the two sides will never even have a debate no less a resolution. The MD (Manhattan Declaration) makes it clear that when the two sides come into conflict one cannot have both at the same time - one must be foundational for the other. In my own thinking I cannot see how a culture established on the premise that individual liberty is more important than life can survive. Without the value of life, there is no value of liberty. One does not have the chance to even choose liberty if one is not alive. It also seems abundantly self absorbed to make those value decisions for others who are not given the right to make the decision themselves. Now, before someone points the finger at my ideology - may I point out that I have been apart of an abortion decision - so I do indeed know what is involved and how it feels. That is not absent from my thinking for one moment.

The second issue is that of marriage. Marriage is one of the building blocks on which culture is founded. It is not a man-made institution that one may willy-nilly (I've always wanted to use that phrase while blogging) re-define. The Prop 8 court debate that is happening as we speak is a testament to the high value our culture puts on fallacious logic and evidence. If those challenging the constitutionality of the voter's decision can come up with one more expert to say that same sex marriage is somehow not detrimental it will be interesting to see how this plays out. Does it strike anyone else as odd that the arguments (for the prosecution mind you) are all about defending that which has been outside the "norm" in our society, not providing evidence that it is somehow indeed positive to our culture. The research done in the secular world for over 50 years points out that when communities have the traditional model of marriage that a number of benefits occur for the individuals, the families and the community at large. The same research does NOT say that if we allow same-sex marrige we have a bunch of horrific things happen - but it DOES say that we are absent the benefits. Do we actually think that has anything to do with us (man) or might it be an institution that comes from a higher power?

Last issue is religious liberty. I can't tell you the number of people I meet who find out where I work and immediately assume I am against liberties when it comes to thought and to freedoms. What an absurd thought! We live under a set of founding documents that allow for and flourish on those freedoms. Nothing could be further from the truth. I want to allow people of all worlds of thought to have the opporutunity to share, believe, and fight for their beliefs. If we miss that one, we have just taken a step back in ideological history, and not a positive step. What shocks my students occassionally - is that I am very much a free market idea guy. Let all the ideas into the marketplace - the best ones will find their way to the top because they are true. Now, I happen to believe (both historically and practically) that ideas that derived their foundations from God are the best ideas. But I want to hear them all - I want to engage in them all and I want to see our culture honor all, but follow the best.

That is why I signed the Manhattan Declaration and as we remember a great civil rights leader today, may we see that based on his own beliefs he probably would have signed it too...

Doc

Resolution

I can't even make a resolution on time, much less blog about such events. Here it is two weeks into the new year and I have yet to address this issue. It might be because of being busy. It might be because of being lazy. It might come from being tired. It might come from the thousands of ideas swirling in my head on which to write. So my resolution for the new year is to not be as busy, lazy, tired or non-focused. There... that should keep me going for an hour or so and then it will fall the way of most resolutions.

And come to think of it. I have really wondered where the background for making resolutions at the beginning of the new year came from. Yes, there is a freshness to the new calendar. There are "do-over" attitudes that abound. But to call it a resolution?

The tradition as it turns out has both ancient and modern roots. In ancient times (we're talking 2000 b.c. or so) the Babylonians began a "new year" celebration in what we would call March today (makes sense since that is the new birth of creation in spring time, etc.). They celebrated for 11 days - which would mean that ball in Times Square would fall REALLY slowly. If you read some of the history - you'll see that today's celebration is a far cry from the "party" that went on then.

Rome finally did away with that tradition when they redid the calendar - somewhere around 150 b.c. and when they named the first month - January, it was representative of the god Janus.

The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new.

So where did the concept of the resolution come from? Both the ancient and Roman cultures used this date (regardless of what actual day it was) to look back on the time past and ask forgiveness and count blessings. They made a commitment not to repeat their poor behaviors and to do better in the future. For some it was really big stuff like forgiveness of enemies of the state or large financial obligations. Clearly that went by the way-side as we reached more contemporary times.

I wonder how committed those Romans were compared to today. Most stats indicate that just under 50% of the adult population make some sort of resolution (most popular - weight loss, stop smoking, better financial planning). What is interesting is that about half keep them up for a week, that number splits in half by week two, then in half again by week three and then levels off until six months when it drops again. Hard to imagine the Roman Empire forgiving a state enemy on January 1 and then a few weeks later invading their territory. Fickle Romans! :)

I don't know what your resolutions where/are but my encouragement is to make some resolutions that make a difference not only in your life, but the lives of others. What am I doing to serve those around me? In this morning's paper alone - Haiti gets pounded by an earthquake, a teacher is accused of abusing her students, the homeless in our area are freezing to death, and more people spent time in front of American Idol last night than gave time, talents or treasure to serve the widow and orphan.

I DON'T want to be lazy. I DON'T want to be too busy for others. I DON'T want to be preoccupied with myself. Most of us don't, but we fall into patterns in our cadence of life that are incredibly self serving.

So in the end I resolve not to have any resolutions - but to look back on last year, count my blessings and look forward to this year in terms of the joy of serving others. Yeah, yeah, I hope the gym rats and I will once again become acquainted and I might visit the fresh produce aisle more... but that needs to be secondary in my heart and mind. May I be the hands and feet of a heart committed to the Greatest Commandment.

Happy New Year!

Doc

Poppy

The word eulogy literally means "good words." So when I was given a couple hours notice that I was going to eulogize my recently deceased father-in-law, I was really stumped for just a few good words. As I thought about how to capture his life, I turned to a familiar saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words." So my mind searched for some "photos" of his life. Three actual pictures came to mind.

Picture #1 - A photo of Poppy and Nanny (in much younger days) with some dear friends of their's (the Cottons) dressed in Razorback attire (including some wild looking cowboy to hats!!) ready to go to a game. I noticed looking more closely at the picture, all four are smiling broadly; all four look happy and excited and I really hope the Hogs won whatever game it was... but Poppy was standing just behind the other three. In my mind this represented well how he supported many of his friends. He was right there but also willing to step in just behind you to be there when needed. He was that kind of friend. Never captivating the attention of a room full of people, and usually overlooked in that same room, but always there when needed.

Picture #2 - A picture of his support of family. In this case, he is "actually" supporting Stephen (now 16 but 2 or 3 in the photo) on his shoulders. He was always there for his family. During the time that this picture was taken there were some tough things going for our young family and in the midst of the storm, there was Poppy. And that smile on Stephen's face exemplifies how much he enjoyed and loved his grandfather. In a providential twist of events, in Randall's last days in the hospital, it was Stephen staying the night with him. One night as Poppy began to hallucinate and rip his IV's and tubes out, it was Stephen stepping over to him and holding him until the nurse could come. What a great legacy to leave - one of support for the family. I have to be honest, during the days of the funeral our family was pretty tense with one another. I know I snapped at the boys and their emotions were running high as well. The thought of this picture made me stop and think about what that lesson of support means to me now.

Picture #3 - A picture of Randall with some of his Democratic political buddies (Susan MacDougal, a former professor of mine at the U of A - Steve Smith, and a few others). There he is proudly wearing this donkey tie too. Now, Randall and I never saw eye to eye on politics but we had a mutual admiration for the other's commitment to the cause. He cared about this country and he wanted to see a difference made. He was adamant about many issues of policy, personal ethics, and faith. On these things he did not waiver. In this day and age of riding fences, that is a great lesson to challenge each of us. What do we really care about?

There was one other picture that came to my mind's eye; after a tough day at work, Poppy would sit down in the recliner and promptly fall asleep. He'd open up one eye when a noise caught his attention, and if you suggested he just go to bed, he'd say, "Nope I'm wide awake..." and off he'd nod. He'd wake up just in time for the late news, get the latest sports and off to bed. That was a picture of how tired life had made him and how he needed rest. I think in the last couple weeks Poppy realized that life had made him tired and he needed rest. 80 years on this planet and a life full of family, friends, faith, and unwavering commitments can make one really tired. He is getting a much deserved rest now in the waiting arms of God.

Randall Eugene Bailey - born October 18, 1928 - died September 29, 2009. Someone once pointed out that those dates weren't that important, but what your life represented in the "dash" between the dates. Poppy filled that space with a lot of things - mainly a love he shared in a quiet and soft spoken way. You will be missed. May you truly rest in peace...

The folks in the next seat...

I just returned from a wonderful trip to Lebanon to help teach/establish the middle eastern version of the Focus Leadership Institute here in Colorado. It is a six week course of study that attracted some 30 students from Egypt, Syria, Jordan, and Lebanon. We met in an old monestary in the hill country above the Bakaa Valley. The challenges for Christians in that region of the world are not anything we face here in the west. Students, for example, who were totally disowned by their families for attending. Not just an upset dad or mom, but they were not longer acknowledged as their son or daughter. Tough stuff.

However the teaching and students were not the best part of the trip. The best part was the six people that I sat next to on the six legs of the trip (3 out there and 3 back). They are a testament to the fact that there is a lot of hurt in the world that just needs an ear to listen to, not a condemning voice of a Christian professor.

Seat 29E from Colorado Springs to Atlanta: Phillip

Phillip was a native of West Palm Beach, Florida who had come out to Colorado to make some money in a construction project which had come to an end (out of funds, not the project was complete). The first words out of his mouth when I asked why he was traveling to Atlanta was that he couldn't wait to get out of the s***hole of a state like Colorado. That peaked my interest since I believe Colorado to be one of the most incredible places to live. After a bit of prying his anger was not at the mountains or beauty but of people he'd encountered. He had been exposed to the Christian community (which is vast) here in Colorado Springs and he found it to fulfill all of his expectations of loud and rude; second, he had been working on a commercial construction project that ran out of money and he was bitter toward the owner; and finally (and most importantly) he was a sailor by trade and he was stuck in the mountains. Well, that makes sense - Phillip was wired to be on the water and because of circumstance he was miserable. I asked if I could have his email and I would check in with him 3 months to see if he still felt the same way after being back on the water for a time.

Seat 39F - Atlanta to Paris: Robert

Robert was a business man from Birmingham, Alabama who was on his way to Istanbul to meet his wife and travel down to the Mediterranean to sail a boat around for three months. As we talked he shared his major disappointment in his two sons who had not taken over his business and had gone down paths he didn't think were successful. One had turned to the pastorate and Robert viewed that as weak and with no future. I think he loved them down deep but his lenses that the business world had given him were very clouded with a worldly version of success. I encouraged him to take a picture with his iPhone of he and his wife on day one of their adventure and send it to them with a note of encouragement. I told him how much I knew that meant to me... it was just a thought. I hope he did it.

Seat 29B - Paris to Beirut: Hans

This guy was the most jovial German I'd ever met - he had an infectious laugh and a bubbling personality. He was a doctor in Vermont but was returning to Germany after a short holiday in Lebanon. It was a weird story and hard to follow but I did catch that he moved to Vermont because he wanted to practice medicine in his own way. Not sure what that meant, but the more we talked the more I found out his expertise - women's reproductive health - namely he performed abortions. When we got into that area, and he knew what my background was - his soft and enjoyable personality closed up. Everything changed about him. He expected (and told me so at the end of our flight) that I was going to judge and condemn him for what he had done. We had a number of crying kids on our flight which he quickly pronounced as "spoiled". He was bitter toward children and I could follow why when I heard what he did for a living. I tried very hard to express some concern for life, while all the while affirming him... this was a really tough one. I think I probably walked the line too cautiously and I regret it. Hans and I shook hands when we parted at the baggage claim area and I said I'd be praying for his future practice - he only nodded.

The Return:

Seat 18C - Beirut to London - Helena

This young Arab lady was on her way to study in the UK. She was looking very forward to the freedoms she could express when she got to the west. She had purchased western clothing to blend in and had clearly practiced her English language skills and she even sported a NY Yankees hoody. Other than the fact she was misguided in good taste in teams, :) (I'm a Red Sox fan) she was ready to immerse herself in the freedoms of the new life. On this five hour flight we even got around to my asking if she had a boyfriend, and she responded that no - her family had tried to arrange some but she rebelled. She was looking forward to having lots of boyfriends at school. I don't know if that just didn't come through in translation (my rough Arabic and her English) and she was looking forward to building relationships or whether she was just loose (?). She looked sweet enough, so I pray it was the first not the latter. My only piece of advice to her was that she seemed like a nice young lady and she should never be ashamed of her heritage and not work so hard to be someone else, but to be herself. She thought long and hard about this as we walked together in mostly silence to customs and flight transfers. I hope she does okay. (and by the way we had 10 screaming babies this whole flight - and it made we think of Hans - he'd have loved it!)

Seat 26D and 26E: London to Minneapolis

The very attractive young lady in 26E was British and on her way to America for a national tour. The lady in 26E was the stereotypical British grandmotherly type. She was probably 75, and given the chance I think she would have tidied up a bit if the flight attendants would have let her. She drank tea (very particularly I might mention). This wasn't so much my discussion but overhearing the beginning of their's. As it turns out, the young lady was an "exotic dancer" (i.e. stripper) and her national tour was to strip clubs throughout the U.S. I wish you could have seen the grandmother's face when she figured this out. The word "deary" was used in quite a few comments after that as she attempted to figure out how on earth someone could do that - not that she was judging her (she made that comment almost as much as deary). It made the young lady a bit uncomfortable - because I really don't know if anyone had confronted her in this loving but firm way. You could see a blend of irritation and conviction come over her. I wanted to get into a deeper discussion with her because the conversation was not about vocation as much as it was about motivation for getting up in the morning - a worldview type issue. I didn't get a chance as her attentions were balanced between the grandmother and the growing amount of attention that was coming from the male passengers. I pray that "grandma" gave her some things to think about...

Seat 9A: Minneapolis to Colorado Springs; Ron

Ron was a typical businessman returning home after a week of business meetings. He was wearing a Live Strong bracelet and I asked about it. Tears came to his eyes and I really thought I had overstepped my boundaries. It turns out that he had lost his father about a month before. It was obvious that they had not had a good relationship. Right before we both drifted off to sleep, I tried to encourage him not to live in regret. That is what I prayed for him as we landed. We also exchanged email addresses and I want to see where he is a short while.

I believe God provides us with opportunities to touch the lives of others - it may be in things like these plane conversations we can hear people's stories if we bother to listen. I'm glad I heard each of them and I pray that I will be a better listener in the future. Glad to be home though!